SAY YOUR NAME. TRY TO SPEAK AS CLEARLY AS YOU CAN. YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING GETS WRITEN DOWN. NOD YOUR HEAD JUST IN CASE THEY COULD BE WATCHING WITH THEIR SHINY SATELLITES. TURN IT UP. LISTEN TO THE SHIT THEY PUMP INTO YOUR HEAD. FILLING YOU WITH APATHY. HOLD YOUR BREATH. WAIT UNTIL YOU KNOW THE TIME IS RIGHT ON TIME. THE END IS NEAR.  <3 NINE INCH NAILS

LETS FACE IT. WE ALL WANT TUSH. IF I'M WRONG, IMPEACH MY PUSH (: -PEACHES

WILL YOU WALK ME TO THE EDGE AGAIN. SHAKING, LONELY, AND I AM DRINKING AGAIN. WOKE UP TONIGHT AND NO ONE'S HERE WITH ME. IM GIVING IN TO YOU. TAKE ME UNDER. IM GIVING IN TO YOU. IM DYING TONIGHT IM GIVING INTO YOU. WATCH ME CRUMBLE. I'M GIVING INTO YOU. I'M CRYING TONIGHT. I'M GIVING INTO YOU. CAUGHT UP, IN LIFE LOSING ALL MY FRIENDS. FAMILY HAS TREIED TO HEAL ALL MY ADDICTIONS. TRAGIC, IT SEEMS, TO BE ALONE AGAIN. IM GIVING INTO YOU. TAKE ME UNDER. IM GIVING IN TO YOU. IM DYING TONIGHT IM GIVING INTO YOU. WATCH ME CRUMBLE. I'M GIVING INTO YOU. I'M CRYING TONIGHT. I'M GIVING INTO YOU.  lOOK FORWARD, TO DYING TONIGHT. dRINK TIL I'M MYSELF, LIFE'S HARDER EVERY DAY. THE STRESS HAS GOT ME. I'M GIVING IN, GIVING IN, GIVING IN, NO! TAKE ME UNDER. (I'M KILLING ALL THE PAIN) I'M DYING TONIGHT. (I'M SICK OF ALL THIS FAITH) WATCH ME CRUMBLE. (I'M KILLING ALL THE PAIN) I'M CRYING TONIGHT. TAKE ME UNDER. IM GIVING IN TO YOU. IM DYING TONIGHT IM GIVING INTO YOU. WATCH ME CRUMBLE. I'M GIVING INTO YOU. I'M CRYING TONIGHT. I'M GIVING INTO YOU. <3 giving in *ADEMA

HI CANADIAN LESBIAN BUDDY (:

GAY LESBIAN PRIDE

Just admited to my boyfriend im bi......

Im done

Its been a long month. Between court, ass kissing, deception n assholes i think ive had just about enoough. Im sick and tired of being treated like shit and coming in second to everything else in the world . Cars, money, other girlfriends, im done. I cant cut, light up, shoot up, drink, pop anything there's nothing i can do to to feel better. The one person that makes me smile and forget everthing wrong with me as a person and everything going on in my mind is starting to drag me further and further down into the abyss of my tears im trying to swim out of. I just feel horrible ALL THE TIME. All i want to do is be by myself and forget the world around me. Yeah yeah im a crybaby i got it good nobody died yahda yahda but whats funny is none of you can see all the twisted things running through my mind. I dont look at things the way everyone else does. Its like my mind warps my thoughts to a deeper darker perception. It scares me and all I know is when it all boils down, all i have is me and im living to regret it.

: /

i feel like hell today. i mean really. i kinda tried to scratch my throat into a bloody mess in class...... i even feel so shitty i dont even wanna cut to make myself feel better. i just wanna watch myself burn right now. drenched in sweat from head to toe crying wondering why cant i be normal? why cant i live on the better side of life? whats wrong with me?? i think my dad has several personality disorders and i believe i am bipolar or manic depressive as well. i jus wanna shrivel up and die. burn me. watch me finally grin, silence engulfing me, as i take that last painful breath.

I owe a lot to blondie :) thanx 4everything

Nightmares

i mean i guess everyone has nightmares every so often unless ur lucky. but apparently im not. i'm jus me (: which doesnt bother me but it kinda scares me on some levels that i havent had more than two happy dreams since i was seven. one was perfect till i ended up getting drowned, while the other it jus seemed nice then u peel back the lairs n find its just a lie. i cant ever really remember what happens in my dreams just that they always end horrifically. ALWAYS. i've been dropping off earleir n earlier to sleep the past few months n walking up at three, three thirty, four, n this morning at five am this morning to find myself shivering n sweating, chilled to the bone. it takes so much effort to smile n be happy if someon finds me like that n asks if im ok. i never really am but i lie thru my teeth anyways. every morning if i manage to pass out again i do my best to hise the bags drooping under my eyes, try to cover up the evidence my thoughts are haunting me in my sleep. every day i drag thru my classes, the day, trying to smile n stand tall when all i wast to do is sleeeeep. i try to but all i find is my inner disturbia waiting to wrestle me for it. sometimes ill kinda doze off in class then when i snap out of it its like deja vu. like ive seen this before n it bothers me because i dont have happy dreams. i always start to wonder if my lifes jus gonna end up screwed over or if itll end up being worth something to anyone eventually.

mixed feelings

beaten got my hat stolen n chucked at the mall n sum hot guy put so much effort into tossin it back up 2me (: made me smile at all the other lil stuff my friends did today. sore as hell n drunk/high off my frikin amazinG drug hahaha god he makes me think so much better of myself than i do on a regular basis. he pointed somethin out 2me that been buggin tho. we were laughin cuz he said he was nobodies type not even mine. so i asked what my type was curious bout what he thought n he said guys i could manipulate. i was shocked a lil but then he said that he noticed i tended to manipulate all of my bfs. i didnt think so but then he pointed out examples n he was right. i didnt even notice it. now i feel bad that i did that even tho he didnt say it in a bad way. he ment to be polite n was jus laughin cuz he didnt think i could do that to him. i think i have a serious issue with control even though i can be real timid around people. i hate how it shows up in my relassionships (i know i spelled that wrong :P)  i jus feel bad n i wish i could pinpoint everythin thats messed up bout me n fix it but that would change me into a whole other person n i jus don think i could stand her. i wanna change but i refuse. i need to help myself but i wanna watch myself drown. my head is twisting warping my thoughts into the blackness but theres always those few moments that i jus wanna say DAMN!!!! hahah i kick ass! (: n i have my drug n friends to thank (:

Hi canadian :)

Two secrets. One night. So much pain n deciet lost. Buried by two blond girls n a grin.

1 by 1 we bite the dust we kick the bucket n begin to rust. Give up the ghost when ur numbers up. We all fall down. -creature feature

I know we live like pigs but I got a coaster if u want. :) I don do coasters until the third date :) -Remember Me

Sitin on the couch arm round me (: smilin *kissin*. Tv-the guys pants down girls mouth open "its so salty!" guy stops kissin me. Look at each other Wtf? Haha :)